I'm Back!

Hi Guys,

Hope everyone is doing well. I want to start this post off by apologizing to my fellow readers and friends. It's been awhile. I got a new laptop a few months ago and ended up losing my password and user name for my blog. Because of this, I have been unable to post on my blog. I plan on getting back to posting as often as I can and I hope I can continue to help some people in regards to opiate addiction.

I would also like to take a second to thank you guys for not only ready my posts but for also commenting on them. I think discussion can be really beneficial and helpful for everyone involved in this blog (myself included). I will try my best to read and reply to every one's comments. So please, keep the comments, questions, and thoughts coming!



I think the best way to write this post is to give you guys a quick update on how my recovery is going and where I am. I have some good news and some bad news...

I'll start with the bad news. I have been on Suboxone for about a year now and have been for the most part, pretty successful in my recovery. However, I have had a few bumps. I made it about 6 months of doing no drugs besides the Suboxone before I eventually caved in and messed up. I went on what I would call a "binge" and ended up getting high on my drug of choice, Oxycodone, for a couple of days. I actually had 3 periods of this. Each time lasted about 3 or 4 days before I ended up back on the sober train. I'm upset I did this after the hard work and dedication I put into my recovery but have learned to come to terms with myself and get back to a life of sobriety. I have now been clean for 45 days as I am writing this post (3/27/13).

It hasn't been easy but I'm surviving. It actually made me realize just how difficult recovery can be and how quick and easy it is for old habits to sneak up on you. I looked back on myself and the things that were going on at the time and have decided the most likely reasons for my relapse were stress, hanging out with the wrong people, boredom, and simply giving in to wanting to get high.

Despite these relapses, I have managed to continue my Suboxone treatment. I was able to avoid testing positive for Oxycodone during my drugs tests by providing myself with enough time (3-4 days) before having to take my weekly drug test at the Suboxone clinic. I want to be honest with you guys and not be someone who preaches something yet doesn't think the rules apply to his or her self. I never told my consular or doctor of my relapses and instead simply went on with the program. If you want my recommendation on what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation, I would tell you to be honest with not only your doctor, consular, and support team but with yourself as well. Once again, that's what I would recommend, not what I actually went out and did myself.

To give you guys a quick history of my story with addiction, I'll start out with what was my drug of choice. I had about a 2 year addiction with the Oxycodone 30 mg pills. I would snort/sniff these pills and was doing them daily, usually taking at least 150 mg a day but would take as much as I could afford/get my hands on. I came clean about my addiction with my girlfriend, family, and some friends and decided to seek help at a Suboxone clinic. I was initially prescribed 4 mg of Suboxone once a day. After about 4 or 5 months on 4 mg, my dose was reduced to 2 mg a day. I would take 1 mg in the morning and 1 mg at night. I was on this dose for about 3 months until my dose was lowered once again to 1 mg a day (.5mg in the morning, .5mg at night). I have been at this dose for about 2 months now.

The jump from 4mg to 2mg was actually very easy. In fact, I felt absolute no withdrawal at all or any negative side effects from my reduction in dosage. However, the jump from 2 mg to 1 mg has been somewhat of a different story. While I feel pretty good and normal most of the day, I can usually begin to feel some discomfort by the end of the day before my second dosing. These withdrawals are minor and usually consist of a runny nose, restless legs, random cold chills, and minor anxiety. I also begin feeling these withdrawals in the early morning around 5 or 6 in the morning before my next dose (usually around 10 a.m.). My best guess is I am feeling my previous dose wearing off and my body is looking for the next dose. Again, these symptoms have been pretty minor but can still suck when I have to work or go to school.

To help combat these symptoms, I talked with my doctor and was prescribed a few medications. These include Clonidine, Requip, and Advil. The Clonidine has been great at night for sleep and does seem to help a little bit with chills and restlessness. I haven't really noticed much of a difference with the Requip, which was prescribed to help with the restless legs. Surprisingly, the Advil has actually been pretty effective with the aches and pains I sometimes get.

While I am certainly happy I am now at a relatively low dose of the Suboxone, I am somewhat fearful of how difficult it will be when I again have to lower my dose when the time comes. I am even more scared about when the time comes to make the jump off of Suboxone completely. My plan is to jump off the Suboxone at as small of a dose as possible to help avoid or limit any potential withdrawal symptoms. If things get tough after I make the jump off of the Suboxone and I am feeling overwhelmed or facing intense cravings, I think I will give the Vivitrol shot a shot (no pun intended).

That's basically where I've been over the past few months since I last posted on here. I am so glad to finally be able to once again access my account and talk with you guys. It really helps to vent, hear others share their experiences, and to have the opportunity to help others as well. My next two posts are going to be about the rapid detox method and ways to taper off of Suboxone. I would like to dedicate the rest of this blog to you guys. In the comment section, please comment about a topic you would like me to address, ask any questions or comments you have, or simply pop in to say hello.

Thanks a lot Guys for reading and it's great to be back. I haven't said this in awhile so here it goes: Through times of desperation, difficulties, and darkness, remember to keep seeing the light!

-Take Care Guys,

Seeingthelight