Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Dreaded Withdrawals

Hello everyone and welcome back. This is my third post on my new blog about opiate addiction. I have created this blog to help others who suffer from opiate addiction or who know someone who suffers from this kind of addiction. If you're new to this blog, I recommend you check out my previous two posts (Welcome and My Experience with Suboxone) by clicking on the following links:


I would like to use this post to discuss the topic of opiate withdrawals. If you're reading this site and are addicted to opiates you unfortunately probably know what withdrawals from opiates are and feel like. Basically, they suck and are a pain in the ass. I know when I experience opiate withdrawals I feel like I have the worst case of the flu suffering through the chills, sweats, restless legs, lack of sleep, body aches, and the wonderful diarrhea runs (sorry to paint a graphic image in your minds). Nearly all opiate addicts suffer from withdrawals when they stop their use of opiates cold turkey. Some get it worse than others. There are major factors in deciding how bad your withdrawals from opiates will be. These factors are:

  1. The kind of opiates you were using
  2. The dose you were taking
  3. The length of time you were using these opiates
  4. The method of taking these opiates (swallowing, snorting, injecting)
  5. And the basic makeup of your body
Opiate Withdrawal Sucks

I would like to get a discussion going on some of the withdrawals readers of this blog experience, what they hate the most and what they can "live" with, and methods we use to help ease these often painful and annoying withdrawals. I really hate withdrawals myself (who doesn't?) and think the worst ones are the lack of sleep, restless legs, and chills. Everyone is different though as some will experience all of these, none of these, or some of these. I like to think of withdrawals as a painful reminder of the damage opiates to our lives and bodies and as a motivation to quit and not use again. Think to yourself "Do I really want to use and go through these nasty withdrawals again when I have to make another attempt at quitting opiates."


I would like to look at each of the 5 factors listed above and how they will affect the severity of withdrawals when the dreaded day comes to stop using opiates. Lets begin.


1. The kind of opiates you were using
The kind of opiates you were using before stopping cold turkey will have quite an impact into how bad your withdrawals can get. Some opiates (such as oxycodone) have short half lives meaning they leave your body relatively fast. The rule of thumb for oxycodone withdrawals is that you begin to feel them anywhere from 8-36 hours from your last dose and that the first 3-5 days are typically the worst with each day getting better after that. I have stopped using oxycodone cold turkey numerous times lasting anywhere from 2-14 days. I will say that after the first week of not using oxycodone has passed, you do begin to feel a lot better, but not great. The withdrawals that commonly last for weeks are the lack of sleep, restless legs, random chills or sweats, and the diarrhea. The longer you are off oxycodone, the better you will feel. As I previously mentioned, my longest time off of oxycodone going cold turkey was 14 days and by the end of the second week I was feeling much better but still experiencing restless legs, lack of sleep, and random chills. I am speaking from my experience with oxycodone however and some opiate's withdrawals last much longer or feel much worse. While I have no experience with the drug, I have heard that Methadone withdrawals is quite unpleasant and tends to last much longer due to its longer half life. Like I said, I have no experience with Methadone and am just speaking from what I have heard or read so this is where readers with experience with the drug may prove beneficial. As I always say, do your own research, talk to others with experience, and talk frequently with your doctor.


2. The dose you were taking
The dose you were taking before stopping cold turkey will also come into play when preparing for withdrawal. Basically, the higher the dose you were taking, the worse the withdrawals will most likely be. I was at a relatively high dose of oxycodone (180-300 mg per day) and can tell you from experience that this is very true. However, it may prove helpful if you slowly wean your dose down over a period of time. Weaning can help a lot but is usually very difficult as it takes a lot of willpower to do. I personally could never wean myself off of the oxycodone as I just didn't have the willpower unfortunately but everyone is different.

3. The length of time you were using
The length of time you were using the opiates for will also determine the severity of your withdrawals. This isn't exactly rocket science as the longer you used for, the more likely your withdrawals are to suck. However this is not to say that someone who used for say 6 months is going to be off the hook. Don't you wish you never used that first time? I know I certainly do...

4. The method of taking the opiate
I cannot really speak from experience much on this matter but more so from what I have read. Based on what I have read, it appears that the method by which you ingest the opiate can affect your withdrawals. Again I am speaking from what I have read. It seems that snorting or injecting opiates hits you faster with the high and also leaves your system quicker than if you were swallow the opiates. Therefore, those who snort or inject opiates will experience the onset of withdrawals slightly sooner than someone who normally swallow their opiates. Personally, I snorted the oxycodone I was abusing and would usually experience withdrawals after about 12-18 hours after my last dose. I have very little experience with swallowing oxycodone and have never injected anything in my life.

5. The basic makeup of your body
As I always say, everyone and their body is different. Some people may experience worse withdrawals than others or the length of their withdrawals may vary as well. Things that can come into play include your metabolism, body size, activity levels, and health. I'm not a doctor so I can't really say much about this matter but there is information out there on the Internet if you would like to know more. You could also talk to your doctor if you are really interested.

While all these can play a factor in the length and severity of your withdrawals, at the end of the day we are going to suffer through some of the pain, discomfort, and agony. I guess it's what we get for abusing these drugs (if you are someone who was prescribed opiates for pain management, please do not take offense to this comment as in my opinion you have every right to treat your pain and have one of the more excusable reasons for opiate addiction or dependence.) I would also like to note that while most will not experience any severe reactions to opiate withdrawals, some people can have very bad reactions or even die from stopping opiates immediately. Whether healthy or not, I believe it is in the best interest of the person to be upfront and honest with their family with what is going on and to talk with your doctor. Some people may fare better going cold turkey, weaning themselves, or using a drug such as Suboxone or Methadone. Once again, everyone is different so make sure you have a solid plan with your support network and be careful with whatever route you chose to go.

I would now like to go over a variety of things that can make it a little more bearable when going through opiate withdrawals. These include certain techniques, activities, hobbies, medications (both prescription and over the counter), and things that can make life a little easier during this shitty time.

1)Keeping busy/active
This is one of the hardest things to do when experiencing opiate withdrawal. However, if you can keep yourself distracted, it will help your mind greatly. Try watching some TV, surfing the web, going for a jog/walk, working out, bowling, reading a book, talking with friends or family, do some house or yard work, fixing up a car, listening to/playing music, and much more. I am not saying go out and run a marathon but rather do something to keep yourself busy and your mind off wanting to use. When we use drugs our body releases endorphins which are what provide us with a high and sense of pleasure. We can also obtain this high and sense of pleasure through things we enjoy other than drugs (ever hear of a runner's high?). While it may seem better, the worst thing you can do is to just sit around on the couch or in bed all day going out of your mind and feeling like absolute shit.

2)Medications
There are several medications out there that can help with opiate withdrawals. I'm not talking medications like Suboxone or Methadone but rather what many doctors refer to as comfort medications. To help with the chills, sweats, and anxiety there is the high blood pressure medication Clonidine. You will need a prescription to obtain this medication but it is well regarded in the addiction community and I have used it myself. I would say it does help but I also wouldn't say it is some miracle drug that will end all withdrawals. Talk with your doctor about it and make sure your doctor is aware if you have any health conditions such as high pressure. To help patients deal with the lack of sleep and restless legs many experience with withdrawal there are the use of certian sleep medications. Be careful when using sleep medications as some (most notably Benzos) can be very addicting and have withdrawals that are worse then what you would experience with opiates. I have tried both Ambien and Trazodone for sleep and found both work. The Ambien is stronger then the Trazadone but can be habit forming so beware. Trazodone is an antidepressant that is now primary used for its off label use of helping with sleep problems. Both of these drugs require a doctors prescription. Over the counter medications that can help with sleep include Benadryl or Unisom.These are a little bit weaker then the Ambien or Trazodone but do work well for some. Like any other medication, talk with your doctor before trying anything. I have also heard of using a potassium supplement to help with the restless legs but I do not have any experience with this myself. Another over the counter medication to help with opiate withdrawals is Imodium, which will help mostly with the upset stomach and diarrhea many experience with going cold turkey. Anxiety is a major symptom many experience when going through withdrawals. There are certain medications such as Xanex, Klonopin, and Valium that can help a lot with this matter but please beware that these medications can also be quite addicting so once again please be careful. I do not have any experience with Xanex, Klonopin, or Valium as an aid to help with anxiety so cannot speak from experience. The use of a medication such as Advil or Aleve may help with the achy joints and muscles many feel when withdrawing. A final thing that may help ease withdrawals is the use of a multi vitamin. Not only will these be beneficial to your overall health but it will also provide your body with nutrients to help it repair itself. I cannot stress to you guys to do your research and talk openly and honestly with your doctor and support network. Please do not try to take matters into your own hands as some of the drugs I just mentioned can be addicting and dangerous themselves if misused or abused. My doctor was good to work with and I was honest with him which allowed to me get some comfort medications that can help a lot.

3) Supplies
I am now going to tell you some things to do or keep around to help with withdrawals. I always find it helpful to have a nice bed or couch to relax on with plenty of pillows and blankets (a heated blanket can feel amazing when your freezing). Most people experience hot flashes and cold chills throughout the day so this can help a little. Wearing comfortable clothing (for me a white cotton tee and soft sweatpants) can help a little bit too. I also find that going in the hot tub, sauna, or even bath to help a lot with the achy joints and muscles. I find drinking a cup of coffee in the morning gives me a little pick up and energy. Avoid drinking alcohol as while it may make you feel good for a little, you'll wake up a hangover feeling even worse the next day. Try getting yourself some video games, movies, or books to keep yourself occupied while you take your vacation to hell. Having comfort foods and beverages can help too such as soups, yogurts, tea, hot coco, ect...

4)Preparing Yourself
Going through withdrawals sucks. There really isn't any other way to put it and the worst thing that can happen to you during withdrawals is when you have a lot of shit to do. I recommend that if you can take time off of work or school, you should so you can focus entirely on yourself. Maybe try going cold turkey over a holiday weekend, vacation period, or random week off of work/school. The added stress of having to work or go to school can make you want to crack. It may also be helpful to tell your family, friends, or spouse what you are going through so they know what the hell is going on and you have someone to keep an eye on you and help you. Finally, try not to think of not using 24/7 as you will drive yourself insane. Take it slowly and keep busy.

Withdrawal really sucks. I don't think I can say that enough. However, you can get through it and will most likely come out of it OK. It's tough work but is doable. I personally went the Suboxone route but I want this blog to be able to help all opiate addicts not just people on Suboxone. I have gone through withdrawals numerous times either as a result of wanting to quit, not being able score, or not having money to score. No matter what the reason is, they are going to suck but there are some things that can make life a little more bearable during this dreadful period of your life. Once again, I cannot stress to you guys to talk with your support network and doctors before making any drastic moves and to not just sit around all day beating yourself up while withdrawing. It gets better, it really does. I know that might sound like a load of B.S. and you've probably (like me) have heard that phrase a million frigging times. But it will get better. Think about it and where you are right now. Can't say 1 month of feeling crappy and not totally normal to get clean be much worse then living a life depending on pill after pill?

I would love to have you guys pitch in some comments on this post (or any other ones, I will always read them and comment back). Talk about withdrawals and what you do to ease them. Talk about how you fear them or talk about how you overcame them if you did. I'm here to help you guys because I know how hard it is being an opiate addict and trying to do the right thing and get clean. I choose to go on Suboxone but have heard of other people going cold turkey and being successful. There are different ways to do this and everyone is different, at the end of the day its about whether or not you were able to do the right thing and get clean.

I would like to end this post by providing you guys with some links that deal with opiate withdrawals. There are also discussion boards online in which people share there stories, tips, and experiences as well that might help you guys. Also try looking up the Thomas Recipe for withdrawals as it is well known and praised for helping others with withdrawal. Even some of things we talked about on this post will show up in the Thomas Recipe. Give it a shot. Like I always say, do your research guys and keep informed. Here are the links that I think might be insightful:

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-conditions/thomas-recipe-opiate-withdrawal-35169.html
http://oxycodonewithdrawal.com/
http://oxycodonewithdrawal.net/
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/oxycodone-withdrawal-symptoms.html


Again, I would like to end this post like my other ones by thanking anyone who reads or comments on my blog. I really hope it can help people. I'll have another blog for you guys soon. Please be careful with your recovery methods and some of the medications I listed above. Talk with your doctor and do your research before trying anything. And remember to keep looking for that light, like always it's there somewhere.

Take care my friends,

Seeingthelight

41 comments:

  1. Hi, the only thing I wanted to say was that, if you are an addict you shouldn't feel like you made a stupid decision. There isn't one addict I have met who didn't have very severe reasons for what led them to drugs, and it's a disease so please do not feel guilty if you can't ween down. I also don't know any addict who was able to slowly ween down with the drug of your choice and it has nothing to do with a lack of willpower. It is because your brain does not have the capability to have willpower to solve this. Some people have been able but without a strong program all of them rarely haven't relapsed. I really appreciate your blog I just think a lot of people feel shitty because they think they aren't strong enough or this is a weakness- its not. I promise you can get clean, and stay sober, but you can't do it on your own and not relapse. You have to find a strong system to help you stay sober. For me and all of the successfully long term recovering addicts I know used 12 Steps, sponsors and fellowship, helping others. This is my promise- I know that sounds like BS but just know there is always that solution waiting out there for you. There are so many amazing individuals that know this disease. You can't do it with willpower, you do it with other people helping. Suboxone worked for me but it doesn't work for everyone and that is so important to know. People abuse it all the fucking time and that's just a part of addiction. If you want to stay sober, know your ways of using drugs. You can do this. And the Thomas system works but involve a lot of people into your life and try to go to a detox center. Cold turkey does not typically keep you sober. You'll hear from millions that you can make it through going cold turkey. What you won't hear is how long it lasted before they relapsed. Over and over. I'm more than happy to share my experience. Always know there's a solution out there though.

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    1. Hey great post, very insightful. I agree it is close to impossible to do this on your own. I would love to hear more about how you got clean. I'm sure it can help a lot of people including myself. Thanks for the comment and reading my blog.
      Take Care-Seeingthelight

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  2. Im in the beginnings of withdrawals I have 4 pills eft & an starting to freak. I am a pillar in my community,a mother of 2 young children. I am also the wife of a man with the same addiction as me. I know this gets better, but how to deal w/fear of waking up w/o pills? withdrawals terrify me. as am prominent in community, do not have luxury of missing work. please help and advise? got here due to cyst on brain stem

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    1. Hi there,

      Sorry to responding back to you after a couple days. I hope all well with you and your husband during this difficult time. I couldn't agree more that there really isn't much worse out there than the fear of withdrawal slowly creeping on you.

      Have you look at all your options? I know you mentioned that you have dealt with cyst on your brain stem so were you getting prescribed the pills or are you getting them off the street? I ask because if you are getting prescribed them, maybe try to talk with your doctor about what is going on. He might be able to put you on something out else, taper your dosage down, or suggest something.

      If you are getting them off the street, there are other options as well. Getting into a rehabilitation center is an option but I know you also said it would be difficult for you to get time off away from work and the family. Would you ever consider getting on Suboxone via a outpatient program? You will still have to eventually face withdrawals with Suboxone but if done correctly, you can use your time on Suboxone to get rid of any bad habits, learn to live a sober life, and develop ways to cope with any cravings or urges. I'm currently on Suboxone and have nothing but good things to say about the medication. I started out on a relatively low dose (this is extremely important) of 4 mg and am now down to .75 mg with the plan to get off during the summer. If you do decide to get on a medication like Suboxone or Methadone, please do your research as these medications can be also be difficult to get off of if not properly used or prescribed. I wrote about my experience with Suboxone here if you want to read it. Simply click on the link below.

      http://welcomefellowopiateaddicts.blogspot.com/2012/08/my-experience-with-suboxone.html

      Your final option is to just tough it out and go cold turkey. This is probably the most difficult route to go and really does take a lot of will power and focus to do successfully. Like the person below me stated, I suggest you take a look at the Thomas Recipe. Simply Google "Thomas Recipe" and you'll find some good information about getting through opiate withdrawal. The Thomas Recipe is a quick list of items that can help relieve opiate withdrawals. I also made a post that provides a list of items to use during withdrawal from opiates. You can access this post by copying and pasting the link below.

      http://welcomefellowopiateaddicts.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-ultimate-surival-kite-for-opiate.html

      My advice to you and your husband is to remain positive and truly explore what options you have and what YOU guys will think will be most successful. Whether its rehab, opiate replacement therapy, or going cold turkey, the end result is supposed to get you clean and sober. If you have to go the cold turkey route, I suggest taking some time off from work if possible and stocking up on a variety of items that you can find on this blog or the internet.

      Keep positive and feel free to drop in on here if you ever need someone to talk to. Best of luck to you guys!

      -Seeingthelight

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  3. To the person who just posted a day or 2 ago, have you researched the Thomas Recipe? It really does help a lot. For me the things that help the most are:

    1. Immodium (loperamide)! Not only does it help with stomach/intestinal problems, but there is a chemical in it that reacts with the opiate receptors in your digestive system. I've found that it makes a giant difference in how I feel - helps with RLS, sweats/chills, and (obviously) stomach pain.

    2. Advil & Tylenol. I alternate between the two but they help with the aches and pains and some of the feverish feelings.

    3. Drink plenty of water AND tea. It helps flush your system and keep you hydrated. Plus for me, one of the worst, lingering symptoms is being cold to the bone. The hot tea really helps with that.

    Those are three relatively easy things that help me a lot. I'm currently WDing and feel like I'm on the other side of it now. I hope you are doing okay and if you want any info on the details of how I went through my WD, let me know. I had to work all this week and I've been WDing since Sunday.

    Best of luck!!

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    1. Hey,

      Thanks for replying to the above poster and checking out my blog. I'm sure when he sees it, he will be very appreciative of your advice. I have covered the Thomas Recipe before on my blog and I think it is a great collection of things and tips to help combat withdrawal. I have no experience with Imodium but I have heard nothing but good things about it. You say it really helps a lot with withdrawal?

      If you don't mind me asking, what drug are you withdrawing from and what did your habit consist of before you decided to go cold turkey? I ask because I will soon be getting off of Suboxone and can use all the advice and experiences out there to help me prepare for whatever withdrawal I'm in for.

      Best of luck with your current situation and thanks again for commenting on my blog. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Hope your withdrawals and any associated problems are at a minimal for you my friend. Keep up the good work.

      Take Care,

      Seeingthelight

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    2. I'm WDing from Oxycodone. Like you, I was taking 180-300 mgs per day. I slowly built up to that amount over a period of about 2.5 years, but I have been using daily for almost 2 years. I actually was able to get "clean" back in February for 2 weeks - needed to for a new job - but here I am again. The big difference this time is that I'm quitting because I want to, not for anything or anyone else.

      Anyway, Immodium has been a lifesaver for me. With the stomach pain and related problems, and it really helps me with those other awful feelings: the sweats/chills, creepy crawlies, RLS, etc. It has made a world of difference for me.

      I did a fast taper using methadone - I understand Methadone is a dangerous drug to play with, but I've had luck doing this before. I never use it for more than 3-4 days, and to me it has no appeal. This week I took it for 4 days: 25 mgs day 1, 60 day 2, 30 day 3, and 15 day 4. Today is my second day taking no opiates, and I feel remarkably better.

      I have to go to work now, but I will check in soon and keep you updated. Good Luck to everyone!

      Rosie P

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    3. Hi Rosie,

      Thanks for your reply and I'm glad to hear your doing fairly well during what I'm sure is one of heck of week. You're one of so many people that I have talked to about how effective Imodium has been during one's detox and that really adds some level of comfort for my situation. I defiantly plan on stocking up on some when I eventually start my process of detoxification from Suboxone.

      I have also heard of others using medications such as Suboxone or Methadone for a quick taper. I have no experience with this but I am a firm believer that if something works for someone, then by all means go for it. I am happy to hear this seems to be working well for you. Although my knowledge on Methadone is limited, it seems like you are using a relatively low dose during your quick taper which is a good idea.

      Although our communication has been brief and over the internet, your story and addiction to Oxycodone sounds a lot of mine. Isn't it amazing how we can put so much of this substance into our bodies, usually to just feel normal rather than high towards the end of our so called "joy ride"? I give you and many others who are in similar situations all the credit in the world for making the decision to get clean and then putting fourth the effort and willpower to get it done. It is also great that you are doing it for yourself and because you want to as many former addicts will say this is usually the only way to get and stay clean. It has taken me a while to figure this out. Keep up the good work!

      Please keep us updated on how your weekend goes. It seems like you are heading in the right direction and are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you ever need someone to talk or vent, please don't hesitate to drop a comment on here. I will try to get back to you (and anyone else for that matter) as quickly as I can. As always, best wishes and good luck my friend.

      Take Care,

      Seeingthelight

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    4. Last night was much harder than the past few have been, which makes sense since the methadone is now leaving my body. The severe symptoms have passed - no more heavy sweating, RLS, etc. - but last night I hardly slept and had stomach pain and felt freezing cold most of the night. My goal for today is to stay as active as possible, which shouldn't be too hard since we are "spring cleaning" at my house. The hard part is feeling so uncomfortable and knowing I could just have ONE pill and feel better. (Of course it never is just one, but that's another conversation.) The person I live with is prescribed both oxycodone and methadone, and if I were really hurting and asked for one he'd give it to me. But at this point I've been without my DOC for 6 days and I'm on day 3 completely clean. I definitely don't want to flush those hard-earned days down the toilet. So, down go the tylenol, Imodium and B vitamins! Hopefully I'm feeling better 12 hours from now!

      Thanks for your encouragement and for listening. Your blog has probably helped far more people than you know. I've read so many, but haven't commented on any until this one. As you mentioned, we've had similar experiences.

      Thanks again!

      Rosie

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    5. Hi Rosie,

      Sorry to hear last night was a rough one for you but great work on continuing to stay away from those devilish little pills. I couldn't imagine being with someone who has a prescription or supply of pills. I would defiantly crack lol. I give you a lot of credit for having the willpower to say no, not many people can do it.

      I know I have a lot of lurkers on this site who don't comment but rather just read. At the end of the day, if I'm helping at least one person, I'm happy. I want my blog to make others feel comfortable and welcomed to comment or simply just read. Thanks again for taking the time to share your experience.

      Hope the rest of your weekend goes smoothly and with little pain or nuisance. Keep up the good work, you are doing great from what I can see.

      Take Care,

      Seeingthelight

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    6. As the weekend winds down I wanted to check in and say that I'm still clean! Yesterday was rough, I felt just really gross and super emotional. But, I also stopped smoking 4 days ago so that's probably a big part of it. Last night was a lot better! I slept pretty soundly and was able to take a comfy little nap today. I know from prior experience that insomnia is one of my worst WD symptoms, so that was encouraging. Anyway, I just wanted to share a couple of things that have helped get me through some of the rough patches/made things easier:

      1. A hot shower during a low point does a world of good.

      2. Listening to music is a great way to beat cravings and pass time. Also, I always find music extra amazing during WD, so that's an added bonus!

      3. Being active and getting out of the house REALLY helps! I spent so much time cleaning this weekend, like scrubbing floors and such, that sweat was pouring off me. And I realized I felt "normal" for a while even after I stopped. I also went to the movies last night and had such a blast; in the past I'd be anxious for the movie to end so I could go do a line in the bathroom. But last night I just enjoyed the film. I think it's important to go out and do things you like as soon as you can because it helps you remember that the world is a fun place WITHOUT being high.

      4. This is just an observation, but I think it's worth noting: this time around, compared to past WDs, I did things a little differently. In the past I've always used benzos to try to sleep for the first week. I've also dosed myself with Imodium and either tylenol or advil every 3-4 hours; I didn't want to feel any amount of discomfort I could possibly avoid. This time I have not used any benzos or sleep aids. I haven't had any caffiene, nd I've only taken imodium and the pain meds 2, maybe 3 times a day, generally just morning and night. As a result I've actually slept much better and it seems like my symptoms are lessening much faster. Just food for thought!

      Okay, I've rambled on enough! Just wanted to check in and share. Hopefully someone will read this and get some comfort or useful info out of it.

      7.5 days off my DOC. 4 days completely clean. I'm starting to feel like me again!

      Rosie

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    7. I know it's more than a year later, but everyone who has shared in this blog have really helped me. I'm in a sticky spot in which I can't talk about this with many people so the internet is all I have as of this moment. I'm in day 2 of w/d cold turkey. I've been through it a few times before, I had an episode earlier this week I'm which I thought I had gone overboard, and I'm still here so I am mustering up the courage to return to the real me. Thanks again for everything you have added. I hope all is still well to all.

      C

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  4. Hey Rosie,

    Sorry I've been out of state for the past couple days and have been unable to post. I am so glad to hear anything is going well you though. You seem to have a good grasp with your situation.

    I know what you are saying about sleep being one of the worst aspects of withdrawals. It's what usually made me crack in the past. You don't sleep so you feel worse the next day only to go bed again to not be able to fall asleep the next night. It's an awful cycle. Have you experienced any bouts of restless legs? For me, that is by far the worst withdrawal. It drives me nuts! There seems to be a lot of remedies for most the withdrawals to minimize them or provide relief but restless legs appears the most difficult to treat. I have tried so many supplements, vitamins, and OTC products with little or no success. I was recently prescribed Requip (Roprinale) for the restless legs (I experience them even when not withdrawaling) so I'm hoping this will help when I make the jump of Suboxone.

    Great job on avoiding the benzos. While they can certainly help, one must be careful with them as they can be just as habit forming as opiates and withdrawal is supposed to be worse from them than with opiates from what I hear. The general rule of thumb is to avoid benzos whenever possible for opiate withdrawal or to limit them, so I give you (once again) all the credit for being responsible with these. My Suboxone doctor is against prescribing anything that can be addicting (besides Suboxone!) so I think I will be in a similar situation as you when I eventually jump off the Suboxone. I know it will be tough but doable.

    Keep up the good work and stay busy like you described. You are doing great. One more week and you'll probably be feeling close to 100% physically. After that, it is all a mental battle for the most part. Sleep, bathroom problems, restless legs, and anxiety are usually the last withdrawals to go so please don't get down if they lag on for a little. I don't think you would anyways, you seem like a strong and determined individual. All and all, keep it up and stay positive. I can't say it enough, you really are a great example of someone who saw a problem and put in the effort to fix it.

    Best wishes,

    Seeingthelight

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  5. Hi Rosie,

    Just checking in to see how you are doing? Hope all is well your way and that you are now over the worst of it.

    -Seeingthelight

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  6. I ran across your blog when I googled sleep and opiate withdrawal lol! Anyway....I think it's great that you're doing this to help others. I'm on day six now of a third attempt to kick. I am prescribed my meds due to chronic spine and autoimmune conditions. I was on 45 mg a day of oxy for about 1.5 years.

    Since this is my third attempt, I have learned a lot from the last two and wanted to share what worked for me and a few tips that are reeeeeally necessary during withdrawal. After reading many boards, I have found that the number one problem during the acute withdrawal is DEHYDRATION due to vomiting and diarrhea. Having said that, I have NEVER ONCE had either problem during withdrawal and here's why: There is a wonderful med called Zofran. It is non addictive, little side effects, except, OUILA! CONSTIPATION LOL! Precisely what we need when going through withdrawal. In other words, it stops the nausea, vomiting and the shits in its tracks without addiction or side effects. This time in withdrawal, I did have to take ONE immodium when I felt stomach cramps coming on, BUT, it worked. I don't suggest loading one's self up with immodium because it can actually create more nausea.
    Anyway, this ONE drug has helped me to eat and keep fluids down. I do believe because I am well nourished and well 'saturated' my withdrawal has been FAR BETTER than if I didn't have these meds. It just isn't necessary to have all the vomiting and diarrhea when it can be prevented! If you eat and drink, you feel SO much better. This doesn't mean you will FEEL like eating, cuz I didn't the first few days, but I forced myself too. I ate five bananas a day during the first three days of withdrawal. I could get it down and it helped a great deal with the RLS too.

    Second tip: Vistaril, 25mg. OMG! A GOD SEND. It's non addictive and is a very old drug used as an antihistamine and anxiety reducer. The only side effect I have had with this is slight grogginess, but when taken three times a day you don't CARE about your withdrawal lol! I took it also at nighttime an hour before bed, with 1 mg ativan. I have taken ativan religiously for insomnia for five years now. I hate the depression that comes with it because I was prescribed for anxiety too. Rarely do I use it for that unless a panic attack. It is not true that every addict will become dependent on every addictive med. There is a DOC. Mine is oxy, but I was dependent, not addicted. I do not crave it in the slightest and my biggest reason for not stopping or relapsing was WITHDRAWAL. If I had a choice again to use it, I NEVER would have. Period. Anyway, my ativan is not a DOC for me, so using it has never created one.
    Okay, so anyway, the vistaril is the BOMB! IT helped a ton with RLS too. I slept through the first three days of withdrawal, combining the vistaril and an uppage of 1 mg during the day of my ativan. Along with the zofran, and Ibuprofen, this worked miracles for me.


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  7. (cont.)
    BUT, what these techniques allowed me to do is to stay hydrated and in keeping nutrition going, this is so huge, I cannot even say more. I think this is why so many don't make it. I mean who likes to puke and shit all day long?? It's SO UNNECESSARY too and I don't get it??

    Now, though, the sleeping is becoming an issue, even with the vistaril and ativan. I know this is part of opiate withdrawal. But this part really sucks for me, because like last night, I did the regimene and holy shit, I tossed and turned all night, sweating like a pig. THAT was weird for me because I've not been bothered by this much at all since the first day.

    I don't agree with the 'keep busy' stuff, but only to a point. Keeping your mind off of it and not obsessing on it is key, but depending upon how long usage, dosages, etc, I would advise SLEEP AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, while also staying hydrated. I do not advise getting up and doing jumping jacks or even walking if you feel like absolute doggie doo doo during the acute phase. WHY the rush? No one will escape wtihdrawal but there are ways to handle it better. Accepting that you're going to feel a little shitty and then doing things to help each symptom as it comes is the best you can do. Yesterday was the first day I felt like doing anything and all I did was walk to mailbox and back, lol! Sitting in the sun has also helped me HUGE, along with fresh air. Do what your body tells you to do. Its recovering from a HUGE onslaught of toxic drugs and it takes time to heal. The best in self care is exactly that. Don't beat yourself up for the process because you're doing something WONDERFUL for yourself, so TREAT yourself that way. Today, I'm still struggling with light sensitivity and blurred vision. THIS is driving me nuts and I have no answers for that, so advice if you know of something to assist, would be grand!

    The last very, VERY important thing I'd like to add to your wonderful blog here, is about one's health and withdrawal. You cannot do this if you are NOT healthy. The first time I tried withdrawal, I wound up in the doctor's office. I had NO CLUE about withdrawal and didn't know how to handle it. BUT I was also very sick with an autoimmune that was NOT controlled. BAD time to stop. The second time I tried it was a month ago and i relapsed because I took ONE little pill. 12 days later I was back to square one after six days under my belt and I was feeling a lot better too! Your mind will create reasons to use because your brain is SCREAMING for opiates. IGNORE IT. I never want to EVER take one again. As far as the future goes, I cannot say I have a surgery coming up soon and am terrified. Not because of the surgery, but because a narcotic will be necessary for the first few days. This continues to trouble me greatly and I wish to avoid it, however, I also know that pain uncontrolled can also be detrimental to healing and health, so have written out a plan to be executed by someone I trust, to alternate the opiate with Ibuprofen, icing and etc. I will take as little as possible and my friend is committed to my commitment to stay off. Hopefully, doing this, we won't be going back to square one again. I do not want it.
    Anyway, this is what I did before I quit this time. I had a full cbc plus done. This was also to determine ALL my counts, vitamins, minerals, etc. It was PERFECT. All of this crap about taking extra vitamins I think is ludicrous unless you are not able to eat or are losing nutrients and water through vomiting or diarrhea. I take a vitamin B-12, C and D. THAT'S IT. And only because I have been deficient with them in the past. It is merely precautionary and something I have to continue to do because of those deficiencies. We get much of our vitamins from what we EAT. So eating healthy, lots of veggies, oats, etc, will help your process go much more smoothly, GI speaking and are not harsh on your stomach. Anyway, this time, I was PREPARED. Physically, emotionally and for withdrawal.

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  8. (cont.) LOL, sorry...
    I just keep going a day at a time, but just know it can be done. Maybe one day, there will be something developed that does not cause such horrible consequences in pill form if we stop and have chronic pain. I am not against opiate use for pain. Pain is horrible and some people simply cannot do it without it. I totally get that. You mentioned your on subs, I think this is a great idea if you must live on these medications. But I think I can do without it. Ironically, even though I still suffer a little pain, it's not nearly what it was while on the opiates between doses. Ibuprofen works best now and my body is actually in LESS pain. I no longer get up and feel like I"m going to fall on the floor after a night of no opiates and in massive pain when my feet hit the floor! UGH!

    Anyway, thanks for your blog HOpe this helps someone today.

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    1. Hey Pal,

      Thanks a lot for commenting on my blog about opiates. You are a prime example of how I would like my blog to operate. You shared your experiences, thoughts, and advice and all of this information can be used to help others who are in a similar situation. I'm glad you found my blog to be a good read and hope to hear from you again.

      Besides the Ativan, I have very little knowledge and experience with the drugs you have mentioned. I will certainly do some research when I have the time to take a closer look at the Zofran and Vistaril as they certainly seem intriguing.

      My best advice for dealing with the sleep issues would be to talk with your doctor to see if you could get put on a benzodiazepine for a short period of time (say 2 weeks) to help get you through the worst of the withdrawal. As you may already be aware of, benzodiazepines can be habit forming so please use caution if you do decide to go this route. Another option would be Trazadone, which is far less habit forming but as you can probably imagine, is a weaker alternative than a benzodiazepine. However, for some it is strong enough to do the trick. I have found Trazadone to be helpful in achieving sleep for the most part but there are still nights where it remains ineffective. In the end, it's better than nothing I suppose. An even weaker alternative, albeit one that carries much less risk for abuse, are over the counter sleep aids that contain Diphenhydramine such as Benadryl.

      While I agree with most of what you said in your posts, I would defiantly say that keeping busy is, for most, an extremely important aspect of getting and remaining clean. I defiantly agree that you don't want to be pushing yourself too much and overdoing it, but would also suggest that one shouldn't sit around all day either. It is a lot easier for the mind to concentrate on how bad you are feeling during withdrawal if you are not staying busy which can make withdrawal appear a lot worse than it really is. Simple things such as watching a movie, going for a walk or drive, surfing the internet, sitting in the sauna or hot tub, and the like are ways to stay busy and kill some time without overexerting yourself. I think most will agree that boredom can be an addict's worst enemy as it provides the mind the opportunity to wander in the wrong direction.

      You seem to be doing very well and I send you a pat on the back from my side to your side of the computer. Keep it up, you should be nearing the end of the worst part in regards to the physical withdrawals. After that, most of it is mental which is not to say it's any easier. Once you feel up to it, try finding a new hobby or something you enjoy doing. For me, fishing and playing in a flag football league did the trick. It took some motivation and a kick in the butt to get out and do it, but in the end, it has helped tremendously.

      I hope your upcoming surgery goes well and wish you a quick and strong recovery. While I have not experienced surgery myself, I can see where you are coming from in worrying about how you will treat and manage both the pain and your history of dependency on opiates. My only advice is to talk it over thoroughly with your doctor(s) and support network and be sure to give it enough thought. Remember, your health is most important so do whatever you need to do to ensure that your recovery from surgery goes well. If you need to use the pain medications, at least you are taking them because you need them and are prescribed them rather than getting them off the street to get high like several other addicts (at one point, myself included).

      All and all, keep up the good work and continue to stay strong. You seem like someone who has overcome a lot and despite having to deal with issues with pain, you look for a life of sobriety and clearness rather than turning to opiates for help. I respect that a lot. Please keep us posted on how the rest of your week goes and if the surgery is in the near future, how that goes as well.

      Best Wishes,

      Seeingthelight

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    2. Hello to everyone reading these blogs as they suffer through the withdrawals like I am. I am in current withdrawals from Norco 10mg. I am up to about 15 -20 a day. I think back to the day when taking one or even half of one gave that rush that we all crave. The amount creeps up so slow that it smacks you in the face. I have a steady supply from the streets, but its expensive and it went from one order a month to three. My fiance took his life from the use of oxycodones, he became a slave to the pills and couldnt pull away. I know you may have thought it should have set me straight but I dove down the rabbit hole so deep there is no light. My supply arrrives this Friday, and I have the devil on the right, and a angel on my left so to speak. Family and friends have drifted away, so I dont have much to get sober for. For those of you that have husbands, wives, kids, I understand how you must feel like you have to push yourself for them. It was nice to see you all trying so hard. I wish you all the luck from the bottom of my heart.

      Delete
    3. Hope you're still doing well. Your post helped me today. As I try to make it through with the devil on my right and the Angel on my left. Not easy, but I'm ready to make the next move towards sobriety.

      Delete
    4. I'm on day 2 with no hydrocodone. I have been taking around 70mg a day. I'm quitting cold turkey. I just went to gnc to buy all the stuff for the Thomas recipe. I hope it works. I have had the worst shits and no energy. I need to be able to get up and work. Does anyone know if it would be easier to taper down using Tylenol 3 broken into fours? I feel like I'm dying. I used meth 10 years ago for six years...been clean of meth for ten years and I dont remember the WD being this bad. This is Hell. I can't sleep and I have chills and shits. Please tell me how long this lasts?

      Delete
  9. Either two ways, professional or self help. professional help will involve coming clean to people, meetings, prescription drugs to help reduce withdrawals. It should be noted that if you have health insurance and plan to use it your addiction will be on record for others to see. Example, life insurance companies have the right to look at your medical records, there are other examples as well. self help is tougher but more confidential and you have more choices on how you want to conquer the beast. Home detox with otc meds to help withdrawals, being able to suffer where you feel most comfortable. People sometimes combine these methods which is difficult. Doctors/Professionals will require you to do some sort of counseling before handing out prescription drugs for withdrawals. Basically opiates have the same effect for everyone, what is different is what works for each person to stop is different. Know yourself first, what are you most comfortable with, if you believe you need pro help than it probably will work, likewise self imposed treatment rarely works. you may have the spartan make up and tough it out at home annd thats ok too. Those with spartan makeup have difficult time with pro help, and those who seek pro help have a difficult time with home detox. So know yourself first, be honest with yourself and then choose the route you and you is the important part, are comfortable with and then go for it like there is no tomorrow. Because really there is no tomorrow if you dont stop the opiate cycle.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Either two ways, professional or self help. professional help will involve coming clean to people, meetings, prescription drugs to help reduce withdrawals. It should be noted that if you have health insurance and plan to use it your addiction will be on record for others to see. Example, life insurance companies have the right to look at your medical records, there are other examples as well. self help is tougher but more confidential and you have more choices on how you want to conquer the beast. Home detox with otc meds to help withdrawals, being able to suffer where you feel most comfortable. People sometimes combine these methods which is difficult. Doctors/Professionals will require you to do some sort of counseling before handing out prescription drugs for withdrawals. Basically opiates have the same effect for everyone, what is different is what works for each person to stop is different. Know yourself first, what are you most comfortable with, if you believe you need pro help than it probably will work, likewise self imposed treatment rarely works. you may have the spartan make up and tough it out at home annd thats ok too. Those with spartan makeup have difficult time with pro help, and those who seek pro help have a difficult time with home detox. So know yourself first, be honest with yourself and then choose the route you and you is the important part, are comfortable with and then go for it like there is no tomorrow. Because really there is no tomorrow if you dont stop the opiate cycle.

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  11. nothing works like AA or NA in my painful experience. Don't pick up the first one and make meetings

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  12. I am on day 2 and you are going through the withdrawals thinking how am I going to get through this??? My husband is going through this with me because we ran out of meds at same time.. I didn't sleepv at all last night but not really tired?? My husband gets to just lay there, but someone has to take care of our 2 year old with endless energy!! My 8 year old had a sleepover at my parents planned foe a while so that helped.. To get through the withdrawals I just look at my 2 year old and he says I love you mommy it helps! I too just started Visteral today and it helps a lot already. I get my oxy's tomorrow and keep having the debate in my head. Just take a fee a day so my husband and I don't detox at same time then ok think just stop you idiot you are Almost through the worst part. This suks!! People who don't take pain meds have no idea what withdrawal is like or the pain you were in that got you there. Most doctors and pharmacists are rude and just don't care about their patients anymore. They tell you to " just deal with the withdrawals" instead of weaning them down or helping patients properly get off pain meds. There would be a higher success rate if people in the medical and pharmaceutical field were not so rude.. My doctor is awesome(nurses not so much) but with the new laws his hand are tied weaning me down properly.. now that I am done ranting.. this has been the most helpful blog I have read in the years I have taken these meds. You may go from site to site until you hear the info you want to hear but in all reality it is going to suck. If youu fail try again and I have learned a few things along the way too... Even though you may already know the info in this blog reading it again helps a lot.. Last, for me the guilt of taking the meds and feeling like I am doing an injustice to my kids is one of the worst withdrawal for me.. don't feel guilty it will make you relapse believe it or not.. Just keep thinking only a few more days.. I am not proofreading this so I hope it makes scence. What do you expect though I am going through withdrawals and no sleep:-)

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  13. I'm on day 2 with no hydrocodone. I have been taking around 70mg a day. I'm quitting cold turkey. I just went to gnc to buy all the stuff for the Thomas recipe. I hope it works. I have had the worst shits and no energy. I need to be able to get up and work. Does anyone know if it would be easier to taper down using Tylenol 3 broken into fours? I feel like I'm dying. I used meth 10 years ago for six years...been clean of meth for ten years and I dont remember the WD being this bad. This is Hell. I can't sleep and I have chills and shits. Please tell me how long this lasts?

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  14. All this is horse shit. Some dickhead wrote will power has nothing to do with quiting. When i was 19 i did 3 oc 80s a day. I had the biggest oc smiley faced white shirt with blue eyes you could imagine. I quit took subs 8mg. Fuckin worse than the actual drug. 24 days i cried, didnt sleep, shit my face off, lost 15 lbs. Did it all cold turkey. Nothing what so ever except hard core drinking, which just made mornings worse. After i got cleaned up i joined the army. I made ssg in 4 half years. 3 tours later i was blown up by a suicide bomber. Was severely injured and was on percocet for 4 months. Wd again just finished day 14. Ct again.. its ALL about will power 100%. A month of hell or a lifetime of shit? Your choice. Stop being little pussy faggots and man the fuck up. This isnt for all of you. But most of you need to pull your your heads out of your stinky little cunts and get goin. Weve all ruined many lives bc we made selfish decisions to get high. Which dont get me wrong is fng awesome. In all if you can do 7 days you got it. A wise man once told me everyone can do anything for 1 minute. 1 minute at a time. Stop being bitches. Good luck. People are depending on you. Do the right thing.

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  15. I've been on a pain management regime consisting of 60 milligrams of Oxycodone daily Promethezine 25 milligrams and cyclobenzaprine 10 milligrams. I've been taking these medications for 7 years. They've worked well for the most part. My doctor just informed me that she's retiring. She's part of a large practice, with several other physicians. None of them want anything to do with her patients on pain pills. I was told I must find another doctor on my own.
    I'm scared and really confused. I know that I will have to experience severe withdrawals. I've done nothing wrong but follow doctor orders. I never abused my meds. Now I'm going to face the most harrowing time of my life. I don't know what plan to make. I've only got a month's supply left. My really hard issues is the creepy crawlers. Can anyone give me good advice about this. Please don't insult me, I didn't ask for this to happen. However, it has and I feel alone, scared and lost.

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    1. Hey, sorry that it has been so long since your post. I am just wondering how you are doing? I am going through the same stuff at the moment, quit tabs / perks, about 15-25 a day for about 7 years (i know it's an insane amount), but am now over 2 weeks clean and feeling okay :) just some cravings and sleeplessness at the moment that I know will subside.

      How are you doing with your addiction?

      Delete
  16. Hey everyone. Figured I would share some of my personal experience and maybe help some people, and maybe get some help myself :) I have been using about 15-25 tabs/perks a day for about 7 years now. Kinda hit rock bottom (like a lot of us have) about a month ago and really decided to kick the habit. I quit last July-2014 for about 5 months, but as soon as I detoxed I immediately started drinking heavily, until I just start using pills again in December. So I went with outpatient detox therapy earlier this month (9/8/2015!), which really really helped a lot, they gave me Clonidine (withdrawals), Promethazine (nausea/vomit), Baclofen (muscle spasm), Phenobarbitol (sedative) and Gabapentin (pain) , and I really just felt like I had the flu throughout my entire detox which was just fine with me. So then I hit day 10, basically my last day of detox, when the craving started. I have been extremely careful not to have even a sip of alcohol because I feel I am a high-risk for cross-addiction, plus the phychiatrist that prescribed me my detox treatment also prescribed me Naltrexone (which makes you sick if you drink alcohol) so none of that. Basically, at the moment I have some pretty severe anxiety / cravings starting around 3pm (at which point I either try to take a nap, which sometimes has me waking up feeling WORSE, or I try to get busy doing something, which really does help after a bit, getting your mind occupied), then the night time really seems to be the toughest for me. What has been working is each night around 10pm me and my Mother go for a walk around the block a few times and I spill my guts about how I really feel, how I am really thinking, and even how hopeless I feel sometimes, and between the walk and the talk that really helps a bit. Then I get home and chill for a bit before the craving starts to come back, the boredom hits, and then the anxiety, which I am really just pushing through. I go to lay down about 3:30am once the craving starts to subside a bit, and have some pretty bad insomnia at the moment (which is VERY NORMAL). I am currently on day 15 clean.

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    1. (cont.)

      A few positives:
      1) When the craving first started after detox, it was 24/7 for a few days.... which sounds awful but please believe me it gets better. After a few days of that I began noticing that the craving was subsiding in the mornings and throughout a lot of the day. At night really is the worst but it is so manageable. I find it really helps a lot to keep a positive mindset (I KNOW THIS IS HARD), but really just talk to yourself if you have to and remind yourself that this craving is your body healing, getting used to life without the drug you want to be off of so badly :)

      2) TALKING to someone you trust will really help. Someone who you know won't judge you. Don't feel pathetic, don't feel ashamed, because despite how awful you may feel, the fact that you feel awful means your body is healing :) You are taking the steps necessary to get back to normal :)

      3) Don't let the insomnia discourage you because it is completely normal. I know this is one of the most horrifying parts of getting off opiates because you can't sleep, and when you close your eyes your mind starts racing in 20 directions and you start getting anxious and likely start telling yourself you can't possibly cope with life without drugs but this is (literally) only your addiction talking to you. The fact that you are addicted and are going through withdrawals means that a part of your brain has gone through some changes while you were using, and it can really make it feel hopeless at times but please don't despair.

      I will continue to check this blog regularly. I think all of what I said might be a bit nonsensical or gibber jabber :P but I am just trying to relay whatever useful information I can. If you are reading this and have any questions for me please ask :) The fact that you are on this blog at all means you have identified the problem and are seeking a way to fix it :)

      ONE LAST THING: This is something I have really battled with and have asked a lot of questions about, but once you're clean and having those cravings / withdrawals (even after detox), before you've "gotten back to normal", you're going to have a lot of ANXIETY. This anxiety will make you think a lot of things, especially things like you have to completely change everything about yourself or you're doomed, and this is just not true. Yes some changes have to be made, but right now the Opiates are your problem, and getting off of them needs to remain your #1 priority. Don't sit there and stew about making new friends, "re-joining the social circuit", or how you're never gonna enjoy life again (not true of course but it's a common thought), because these things will come after you have kicked the habit and have gotten past the awful cravings / sleepless nights. I know 1 month sounds like an awful long time but it really isn't. Think about how long you have been where you are, how fast time has sped by you while you were on drugs, and how just 1 or even 2 months will get you back to normal :) Where you can then start to work on w/e other issues you may have.

      -Mike

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  17. I guess I'll pick this up again.

    I was on Oct 30mg 3-4x a day. I'm a wife and mother to a 2 year old.

    I started using a family members supply when my life for hectic. I was working full time, college full time, and taking care of my newborn and mentally ill father.

    There were nights I couldn't stay awake. Thats when I started the adderal.

    Right now I'm on day one. Using gabapentin to help with withdrawal symptoms. Its a life saver. The only symptom I am experiencing right now is bad chills (im freezing) and no sleep.

    I am lucky because the flu hit my house, so no one suspects anything.

    This is my second time quitting. The first time I used Tylenol 3s succesfully for 1 week. I have been using a little over a year.

    This is it for me. Once I'm off the oxy, I'll ween my gabapentin. Right now I'm taking the max dose of 1800mg/day. It does make you feel very foggy, but I couldn't take the SEVERE withdrawals.

    After that I will stop the adderal. O have only been using a few weeks, so I am hoping the low energy won't be too bad.

    I find I have to remind myself to hydrate and eat- I have no cravings for that.

    I will get through this. So many things in my life has been associated with will power. I am just going to pick up my chains and keep trucking.

    Thanks for listening to my sob story. No one in my life knows I use. I am going to keep it that way.

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    1. Continued...

      I also wanted to say that I have had an awful "gut" problem that Has caused me SEVERE pain over the course of 5 years. I get crazy bad attacks where I either pass out from the pain, or beg God to kill me. I have had so many tests done and eveybody can't find an answer. It acts a lot like chrones, but I can't get a positive diagnosis.

      There was a point in my life where I couldn't even keep a job due to the pain. That is when I decided to start using pain medication. Given to me by doctor, which lasted several months.

      After that it became a fight to obtain the medication. I felt like they looked at me like a druggy, or that I was lieing because I wasn't having an attack in front of her. My husband even came in with me to verify the amount of times he had to scoop me up from the bathroom floor and either call an ambulance or rush me to the ER.

      I am now 26. The past couple years have been God awful pain wise. When my doctor started not paying attention to my pain needs I decided to take matters into my own hands.

      I started using a family members supply of oxy (just the extras) they never went without. I got better, I was able to make plans and keep them. I could stay out of the bathroom (i tend to use the bathroom 9-10x a day, sometimes for long periods of time like over an hour.

      You can see how that kind of schedule doesn't jive with a newborn and caring for the mentally ill, not to mention being newlyweds.

      So I used, and did what I had to do to get through it.

      I am done with it now, on day 2 of withdrawal. Doing pretty well, I can't for the life of me get rid of my chills. I am again using gabapentin, loperamide, and a xanax if necessary to sleep.

      I am also still abusing the adderal. That is my next hurdle.

      I have recently changed my life, because I knew I couldn't carry on that way.

      School is on hold, I may never go back. I quit my job of 3 years, to take on full time care of my father. I get paid, and it's enough to live on for now.

      It's the perfect time to quit.

      I am scared the gut pain will come back, but I am determined to find a doctor to help me if that ends up to be the case.

      Bottom line is I just want to live. I want to be able to take care of my family, my baby, and be a normal person.

      I want to stop being the weirdo who has to leave an engagement unexpectedly because I can feel an attack coming on.

      I want my husband to stop worrying so much, no more frantic drives to the ER.

      I feel like my future looks foggy, but I am trying and going strong for now.

      I am also very religious, and find that drawing strength from my faith and gods word is incredibly helpful. I cried out last night when I wanted a pill in prayer, begging god to help me just a minute longer. The next thing I know I am waking up tomorrow morning.

      I know religion isn't for everybody, but it's my sole rock, especially since no one else knows. Its a silent struggle.

      I hope I may have helped somebody. I read that I could take more gabapentin, up to 7 (300)mg pills a day. Its really truly helping. Its turned hell into a mild cold, I can fully function.

      I was going to try kratom, and found I couldn't stomach it, so I emptied some fiber pills and filled it with kratom.

      I may try that tonight if necessary. For help with sleep, chills and mild restlessness.

      I'll keep this updated for now. Its very theraputic just to write this out, thank you.

      Delete
  18. I ran short this month of my script for oxycodone 20 mls I use 6 a day, this month my pain levels hit the ceiling and I used a few more. I have scripts for 3 months at a time 28 days apart. The pharmacy used to fill 3 days early but the current attention and government involvement has changed that. I was one day short and after a week of cutting back cutting them in half etc I had 36 hours without my meds. I thought I would be able to get filled but the pharmacist said he could do nothing about it, The last 24 hours have been HELL. terrible muscle spasms RLS, cold clammy sweats, no sleep, relentless cravings, and this morning the diarhea was unreal. I took an herbal poppy medicine ,Ibuprofen PM, and a cannabis cream rub that seemed to help some.Then finally this morning my wife was able to pick up my script RELIEF my God. I live in chronic pain from multiple surgeries and injuries from a life of hard work at sea. I have been taking the same dosage for the last 4 years and besides this month have only run short a few times, once housekeeping found my script while I was out of town and this time I was done in by changed rules. I want get off the pills because I think the law business part will get worse with the high profile of people like Prince etc. Im not sure what I will do about the pain without them and Im also not sure my life will be better without them but the prospect of going through withdrawals is terrifying. The Thomas method seems to be held in high regard. Im not sure I can survive a week of withdrawals it felt like I was going to die, Now Im searching for the strength to taper. Buddhist prayers and beads anything that will help. God bless all of you Struggling with this is the toughest thing I have ever dealt with

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